a lot happened after 8 months of not blogging….intuitions are true…my husband don't love me anymore and to make it more hurtful, he loved another woman. i was not able to bear the pain and more pain everyday as his eyes speaks as i am making his life miserable so to make the long story short, i let him go…i've hurt not only myself but the people around me and someday my kids will be hurt too but what is it to continue if love is no longer present. can love really be restored?
i cannot really sleep well, eat well, think well….there is still something in me that wants him to be back…i know i have loved him, but he is correct…he is all correct…how come i always end up like this…so it is true i am like this all the time….i cannot be loved because I don't know how to love myself…past relationships have similarities and this time should be a reality check that i need to change…it's really hard to change…but i will do it for myself and for the sake of my kids…
today…i'll try to love myself…have more time with my kids and my family. i will miss being a wife as i continue the rest of my life by just being a mother of two…i will not love again…i'll start my life over…i hope happiness will come and visit me sometimes but today all i can do is weep so in time i can move on…i hope all will pass and hope i can forgive everyone who have hurt me….
